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2003-07-08 - 4:27 p.m. I'm reading: Home and Garden I'm listening to: Desmond Dekker Quote O' The Day: "From the Eastside to the Westside." I went out to lunch with my cousin Gayle couple weeks ago. She's this gorgeous blond with a multimillionaire husband. (note: she refused to marry him even after she was pregnant until her mother put enough pressure on her that she got married at 7 months. He'd been chasing after her since they were sophomores in High School. After years of trying, he finally hit on something that worked). Anyhoo, HER car is this full sized van. I forget what he drives, but they also have this new amazing Mercedes sports car, even though it has a hard top, it's a convertible. Now any decent serial killer would never drive a sports car because there is no trunk room to fit even the most cut up child's body into. No room behind the seat's either. Plus the hard top retracts into what little trunk there is. Further note to all you bipedal freaks out there, I use a wheelchair after breaking my neck 27 or so years ago. So she didn't think the chair would fit. We popped he wheels off the chair and they barely fit into the trunk. My chair doesn't fold, the back folds down so it is in a sort of L shape. The chair without the wheels weighs about 15 pounds. Her seat was moved forward enough that I got half the L behind the seat with the other half facing back over the trunk. I was in, the chair was in, she was in. And she knew almost nothing about how the car worked. Not because she is dumb, mind you. I read a review of this car when it came out; the manual is the size of a small town phone book. There are ten pages on how to use the emergency break. The seats aren't just heated, but air conditioned as well. Plus seat massagers. I spent five minutes configuring how I wanted my seat. Then I spent LOTS more time figuring out how to work the CD player. There is a navigational display. Around this screen there must have been twenty arcane buttons. And of course the buttons were multifunctional. I played with this all day. To start the car, Gayle pushed a button on top of the gear shift. Come to think of it, I never did see any car keys. She used some kind of ID card that remembered her, so it puts the seats and mirrors and temp control where she likes it, automatic like. She said it remembers her. Beats me. On the road I made her drive by people's house's I knew and even got lucky with a couple people outside that I could show off my shit eating grin to. Total dek ride. Oh yeah, Gayle was wearing about 100,000 dollars worth of jewelry. Her sun glasses cost $1,000 alone. Between her and the car, she could have fed a third county for a week. Our last stop was by my nephew Steve's house. He was home and his wife Molly was free, so they met us for lunch. This was a good thing because Steve is an Archeologist and he left for Iceland a couple days after this for a three month dig. Went down to The Blue Caf� in Long Beach. Sat outside perfect 90 degrees smell of Pacific drinks appetizers. The band was tuning up and I knew we had to leave because they had it turned up to 11. Went down the block to Allegro. I'd never eaten there before. Good place. Nice patio on Pine enclosed with Night Blooming Jasmine. Looked pretty simple to do: big pots and trellis. Think I'll do that in my backyard. Next year. Along with the bulbs I'm going to plant after seeing all the amazing cut flowers at Trader Joe's. Too late this year to do anything about my garden. Yep, I'm going to do that next year all right. In the meantime I'll go to Allegro and eat out on the patio. Damn I've been feeling so completely and totally cherry. Perfect mentally and physically. All together now. Only took me 47 years to get here. After lunch and back again to listen to some blues me and Gayle drove along the beach and junk. I offered to give her head several times, but for some unknown reason she didn't want me to. Los Angeles is a driving city. Perfect weather. Perfect drives. Like that Randy Newman video, I love L.A. � 
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