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2003-07-19 - 8:20 p.m. Stuff laying around I haven't bothered vetting: Suburban New York Judge William Crosbie really jumped to conclusions when he asked a Lebanese-American woman if she was a terrorist when she appeared in court to challenge two parking tickets that had been left on her dashboard in one hour. The alleged parking violator, Anissa Khoder, filed a complaint with the state judicial watchdog, and the judge has since agreed to a lifelong ban from the bench. In a local newspaper interview, Crosbie said he regretted "the contretemps" and that his remark was an offhand attempt to call attention to Khoder's unusual manner in court. Las Vegas isn't the classiest place on earth, but the latest hijinks blowing off the desert strains even the most libertine sensibilities in Sin City: men, armed with paintball guns, hunting naked women in the Nevada scrub. These so-called Bambi hunts have raised the ire of women's groups, local government agencies and even the mayor, who says that while Vegas may be the "place where anything goes," this is simply beyond the pale. A spokesman for Real Men Outdoor Productions, which stages these "hunts," says the company is doing nothing illegal and is only providing another kind of adult entertainment. Adult? The award for the worst beginning of an imaginary novel goes to Marian Simms for: "They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white ... Mozzarella." The Alabama writer won $250 in San Jose State's annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, named after oft-mocked British novelist Edward George Bulwer-Lytton. Triumphing over thousands of entries worldwide, Simms says the inspiration behind her prose was seeing her kids eat twisted cheese and that got her thinking about lovers entwined. Hey, we see the connection. Ben Martinez must have had a pretty good time during his 80 years, because when he died last year his relatives maintain that the priest officiating at his funeral Mass said that "the Lord vomited people like Ben out of his mouth straight to hell." This obviously didn't go down too well with the Martinez family, which has filed suit against the Archdiocese of Santa Fe and the Rev. Scott Mansfield, who also allegedly criticized the deceased for being a fair-weather Catholic. Mansfield, who denies the charges, has been moved to a parish outside of Albuquerque on a routine transfer, the church said. Frequent masturbation, particularly in the 20s and at least five times a week, helps prevent prostate cancer later in life, according to a new Aussie study. Apparently the more men masturbate between ages 20 and 50, the less likely they are to develop the disease. Scientists suspect that frequent ejaculation helps protect against the cancer by preventing carcinogens from building up in the gland. Previous studies found frequent sexual activity could increase the risk of prostate cancer by 40 percent. But that research concentrated on intercourse, and infections from sexual activity could account for the different findings, said one of the scientists. "Men have many ways of using their prostate which don't involve women or other men," he added. The federal deficit is expected to grow to a record $455 billion by year's end, but the Bush administration says its tax-cut policies have nothing to do with it. Instead, administration officials blame excessive government spending and the cost of fighting a global anti-terrorism war. Whatever the reasons, the surplus of the Clinton years is but a memory and the previous record deficit, $290 billion (set during the reign of Bush the Elder), seems like a slight overdraft. And there's more bad news: The government expects the deficit to climb to $475 billion next year before it begins dropping. � 
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